|
Embun
My very personal blog hehe
|
If i were to speak my mind, you'll never understand me. + 0 comment(s)
Week 3 out of week 14, i'm already exhausted. Everyone is, i guess. There are a lot more projects, assignments, commitments and priorities. I'm struggling so hard. Everyone is, i bet.
It makes it two times harder when you're the only one who understand people. I understand that you're tired and struggling. I understand that there are so many things on your plate. But why am i the only one who does the understanding part T_T i want you to understand me as well. I want you to know that i'm also tired but you never ask(or care to be exact) of course, i'd not know how you feel about that but that's how i feel. Whenever i tell you about my day or what's going on with my life, it always goes back to you and it makes me feel like my feelings are not valid and my concerns are petty just because you're saying that you're dealing with it as well or you're having bigger problems/issues. What makes me then? What do you want me to feel?
I know i've said it for a zillionth time but This. Is why i HATE opening up to someone even you're someone that i care and love because i feel so much better and safer when i'm bottling up shits. People really just don't care(not all).
Quick Update + 0 comment(s)
Assalamualaikum and haii just a quick update on whats going on now in my life. i forgot already when was my last post i think it was a year ago. OMG i wish i have time for blogging hahaha. So basically rn im busy with editing shortfilm for an event in upm. its just a 15-minutes video but it takes a month++ to finish it wehh. It does take a lot of my time but i guess its fine because i enjoy and love LOVE editing. cant wait for this thing to be over tho~ so that i can focus more on myself and people around me. and PUASA IS COMING IN LESS THAN TWO MONTHS omgg idk why but i feel so excited hehe. May we all have the chance to celebrate puasa this year AAMIIN! Thats all till we meet again xx
You just cant be love,without not getting hurt kan. No matter how much you avoid not getting hurt,you just cant. Because first, whatever that the other person(im gonna address the other person as he la ea haha) does or feels,it affects you too in some ways. If he feels sad,you feel sad too. If he worries about something,it bothers you too. If he does something you dont like,you hate it but at the same time,you feel like you dont have the right to deter him from doing whatever he wanna do because its their life anyway. You still need to respect what he wanna do with his life or wtv decisions he makes for his own good. You need to understand and tolerate. In that process,you will get hurt in some ways in order to take care of others' feeling.
Second,you expect too much from another person. You feel like you own him. His time,his commitment and his effort are just for you but guess what? NO. You need to understand he has something else to do too. He has other commitments too. You need to know that he has family and friends that he has to take care of too. He needs the time to play,study and some other stuffs than you. So,in that case,that means his time,his effort and his commitments are not only for you. Yes you're a priority. but youre not the only priority that he has and priority changes, You cant expect for him to always be there for you,(ofc,if he sayang you he'll make time but some times he can be unavailable too youknow),he cant meet you everytime you sad(bcs he's busy with some other shits other than you. you shittiest just in case you dk *talking to mirrior*) haha emo. So my point is,when you expect him to layan your over clingy-ness,when your expect him to meet you everyday,when you expect him to ws you first,when you expect him to call you every single day,when you expect hes gonna instastory you always or when you expect him to take pics of you secretly(lol) , youre gonna be hurt because you expect too much. What im tryna say is,be realistic and be moderate. Too much of anything can cause harm right? So yeah same goes to expectation.
And sometimes your effort and your spirit are not mutual with the another significant. Ahh..this hurts just too much haha. I cant handle this sometimes. It feels like you're the only one who excited over something or you're the only one planning dates you know. There will be times like that.
Love hurts kan? hahaha i dont even know why i involved myself into this kind of things but i guess when you love someone you will do anything for that person. You go crazy.You will prioritize them more in wtv condition or state you're in. That's how crazy love can be. But you know what,what is love without pain. You cant get rainbow without a little rain kan? When people said "no pain no gain",i said "no pain no love" haha
Just so you know as long as he makes the effort and always trying to make time for you,thats enough. At least he tries. And you try. It takes two to tango anyway. So, i just wanna say that im very grateful and thankful for him who always stay by my side. It ain't easy i know. I know i have said this so many times but guess what? IM GONNA SAY THIS AGAIN hahahha. Ok so,here it goes i appreciate your time and your effort despite of your busy schedule. And i appreciate your patience to layan my mood swings,bad mood,my pms la basically without complaining even a bit.Thanks hekhek #youknowwhoyouare . Just so you know,im tryna improve myself. Im gonna be more independent,more matured,more understandable and more patient(this the toughest lol) so that im not gonna burden you anymore even though you say im not a burden but i still feel im a burden haha so im doing this for myself and for my own good. So yeah basically its all bout me haha. Im progressing ok watch me grow,dude! :p (but i need you in this process so dont leave me ok? #stillnotgrow #imaninfant)
FoodHunting + 0 comment(s)
Assalamualaikum :)
So haritu finally got the chance to gather with my old friends and went for foodhunting around jb city wuhooo! Finally beb. Benda dah lama kot plan. Ok basically bukan plan la berangan je. Yela berangan kan free haha.
So JB ni kan memang baanyaaaakkkk gila kedai makan yang hipsturrr hipsturr kan so kami sebagai hijabista ducks2 jb tak melepaskan peluang untuk mengikut trend ye. lol. Tapi ha yela ada la kedai yang mahal. Kitorg pergi kedai yang harga dia ashe2 je takde la mahal or murah sangat. And we shared the food je because takut tak habis. So its kinda worth it la and takde la habis duit sangat.
so heres a confident selfie of me pis yow
so these were from Kone kafe. Its an ice cream cafe and the kedai was sooo fancy so cantik. And for the ice cream i must say its yummy-er than the ice cream project cause it tasted like yogurt so tak muak sangat. For me ice-cream project punya tak sedap langsung ah nak compare dengan kone ni sebenarnya. Bagi aku la hahah and its way more cheaper so yeah add 1 more point for kone.
So this was from Costura. its a cereal cafe. so pelbagai cereal yang ko takpernah tau kewujudannya pun ada katsini. Takde la sedap sangat cause i dont really like susu. But its worth trying la. btw,i love the cafe's decor hehe
Chilling with this one enemy pfft siapa ajak dia ni -,-
We also went to Amphawa Boat Noodle. The restaurant was sooOOo nice im not even kidding like the entrance je dah cantik gila and then macam ada a big waterfall datang dari mana haha but nice la basically. for the noodle tu aku rasa biasa je cause im not noodles fan so yup but diorg semua cakap yang the tomyan noodle tasted deliciouss. Recommended!
Benda jadi best bila kau pergi makan + berjalan(which the thing i like to do) + bestfriends. Time well spent with them. Definitely going there with my other friends also hehe
We both know that things are eventually going to be harder. We both know that things like this going to be happen someday or somehow. What we do not know is how will we react,what is our action and how we're going to solve it. Are we going to settle things down quickly or leave it hang? Are we going to settle it together or let the one person shoulders the burden alone? Are things going to be the same again after that or it will not? Are we going to stand? Are we going to stay for each other?
Its just one episode of this story but it affects both of us so much that can cause undesired changes to the whole story. It makes us feel mad,sad,hopeless,clueless,lost and feel like giving up. But we have to face it. Together. Lets just get through it. Together. Youre not going to leave me alone and so do i. Again,together.
But
Why do i feel like im the only one who settle down this thing? Why do i feel like youre not in this together? Where were you?
The only thing you do is ranting on about the bullshits of it all. The only thing you do is asking me to do something about it while youre not even working on it when you can also do something. You dont want to get involve. You let me do it all by myself. Somehow i feel like you are treating me unfairly. Somehow i feel like youre not understand me that im tired of all these dramas that are going on. I need to share this problem with someone but i know youre not interested to know about this matter and dont give me solution to this thing so i end up bottling it up and thinking the solutions all alone. Im stressed out. I admit,im mentally exhausted.
You have the right to feel what youre feeling right now. Jealousy,insecurity,annoyed and anger -the feelings. Because i will feel exactly the same if im in your shoes right now or feeling even worse. So i understand. But you also need to understand that i need solution. and you.
I know youre not in your right mind when youre mad. So i cant get mad at you because i understand. At the end of the day,when youre feeling better,you will understand what i feel. Because i know you. So its okay. I dont feel mad but i just feel sad over this thing. I know its going to be okay,its just hard.
At the end of the day,its about us. Not about another person. So we're going to make it. Till the end. We can and we will. Together.
I love you.